hey there... its been awhile i update... time... that is what i don't have right now... things are in a mess right now... firstly, its about my medical... physically i look alright but u won't know until i say its... the doctors suspect i have a slipdisk which in any hard fall can cause me to lose my movement, right now my nerve system starting to react.... the doctor give me a huge amount of doseage to make my pain go away... but the doctor say due to high consume of my medication... i will have kidney or liver failure... its sure sucks! if i stop my medication, i will have to risk not have children,if i continue with it... i lose my kidney or liver... one more thing they found out my big toe have a crack... i don't even noe when i broke it... but its really hurt... i can even walk properly... because of the i facing more pain for my spine.... (kecik-kecik tak nak mati... da besar... mcm nk bunuh diri... waste current je)
Secondly, my mental specialist gave me a hight doseage of DOTHIEPIN to make me control my temper,my spit personality n ade lah... the doctor make an appointment for me to see a ______ to help me with my health.... m'i crazy???gone mad?? to you??? i confuse... izzit wrong for me to stab someone or stab myself??? i noe i'm a suicidal... but i have one thing preventing me from really doing that... that is HER.... during like this i used to calm down myself by drinking.. but NO... die larang... so ok then... finding another way... but people.... please don't think i crazy or what.. i just had a bad past... that's all... i still being haunt by my past... nightmare still playing in my head...over n over again...
p.s/ i won't ever hurt anyone if they hurt me... n i will nv hurt azizun...because she's my first aid when i really need someone the most... she came from no where...drop straight from the sky... like a star on her chest...
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